Olah Rasa

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Sehat itu tidak melulu soal olah raga, tapi juga olah rasa. Bagaimana merespon terhadap hal-hal yang diluar nalar, bagaimana memahami orang lain, bagaimana berdamai antara yang seharusnya dilakukan dan yang ingin dilakukan (apalagi kalau seharusnya senyum tapi pengen ngaplok #ups).

Sama seperti olah raga, olah rasa juga bisa dilakukan sendiri, semacam berdamai dengan berbagai pemikiran diri yang suka ajaib ya terkadang. Apalagi kalau perempuan ketika PMS (pre menstruation syndrome, pas menstruation syndrome dan post menstruation syndrome, nayolooooh sisanya seminggu doang. Wkwkwk) lebih susah lagi mengendalikannya. Harus banyak-banyak tarik nafas. Tenang. Inget yang bahagia aja, yang lucu juga boleh, asal jangan ketawa sendiri weh. Serem.

Ketika sudah terbiasa olah rasa, hidup jadi lebih menyenangkan juga. Saya masih belajar, makanya hidupnya masih kayak roller coaster. Ohohoho.

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Do it because you want to do it

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“Nes, gimana sih caranya biar bisa masuk ke program ini, apapun caranya dilakuin deh!”

I was like that before, 9 years ago, fitting myself into the (so called) winner criteria just to get into an organization, tho I haven’t accomplished something big enough I would say. And to be honest with you, it really haunt me…. up till now. Currently, I’m more into doing what I wanna do without rushingly going through a competition til I’ve settled enough. Because I really wanna do all things I believe I have to do it, being recognized because what I do is just the side dish of all course.

So yap, I’m more suited for telling truth rather than made up things, turns out it also gives me more peaceful life, ehe! Don’t be seeking for recognition too much, it’s not worth your time.

 

Malam

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Hai malam, banyak hal yang telah terjadi hari ini. Mulai dari pelepas rindu yang lama mengganggu, hingga pertemuan tak terduga dengan seseorang yang telah lama terlupa.

Kamu tau malam, aku kira aku telah berhasil menyelesaikan berbagai fase pahit di kehidupanku, tapi hari ini aku hanya menemukan diriku yang selalu berlari menghindar. Aku hanya ingin melupakannya, tanpa tahu bagaimana caranya mengikhlaskan.

Seseorang berkata bahwa melepaskan artinya tak mengungkit kembali, menjalani hidup tanpa meributkan yang telah lalu. Tapi ternyata aku tidak. Aku masih menyimpan setiap memori yang bisa saja menyeruak sewaktu-waktu. Aku masih menggenggam erat rasa itu satu persatu.

Malam, sepertinya kau akan menjadi saksi bagaimana detik ini aku memutuskan untuk memaafkan semuanya. Dia, aku dan semua yang terjadi di antara kita. Aku harus melangkah. Menuju sebuah tujuan yang baru.

 

Review Drama: Kill Me Heal Me

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Ini super iseng sih, karena kalau lagi senggang suka nontonin drama korea, jadi sekalian aja nulis disini buat share tentang drakor yang udah ditonton, karna saya cukup picky juga.

So, here is the first one: Kill Me Heal Me!

Bercerita mengenai seorang lelaki yang memiliki 7 kepribadian, shin se gi yang preman abis, perry park yang kocak, yoo sub yang sering melakukan percobaan bunuh diri, nana, mr. X, cha do hyun, dan yang paling epic adalah Yoo na, which turns the main character into completely different person (my most favorite one hoho).

Meskipun bikin gregetan, tapi berbagai kepribadiannya itu super menghibur di tiap episodenya. Proses pelepasan satu per satu karakternya dengan memenuhi tujuan tiap-tiap karakter bikin film ini jadi ga ketebak dan yang paling kusuka adalah, endingnya yang asik abis. Ga kayak rata-rata drama korea.

I give 11/10!!!

Sekolah itu BUKAN Pengganti Orang Tua

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Tidak jarang ditemui orang tua siswa yang menyalahkan sekolah akan ketidak mampuan anaknya atau perubahan yang terjadi pada anak tersebut. Menurut saya, fenomena ini super lucu, bahkan udah melebihi srimulat.

Anak merupakan tanggung jawab penuh orang tua dan sekolah merupakan support system untuk membantu orang tua dalam memberikan warna baru dalam hidup sang anak. Ibarat orang tua adalah penjahit, sekolah merupakan mesin jahitnya, atau bahkan hanya berupa gunting kainnya. Penjahit harus memilih mesin jahit dan guntingnya sendiri, agar menghasilkan produk yang sesuai dengan keinginan. Kalau hasilnya kurang memuaskan, coba dilihat lagi, jangan-jangan penjahitnya memilih mesin jahit yang tidak compatible, atau ternyata ada yang salah dengan teknik jahitnya.

Oh, dan jangan lupa, satu orang guru itu mengampu 20 orang murid minimal. Bisa mencapai 50 bahkan. Bandingkan dengan orang tua yang maksimal memiliki 5-10 anak (jaman sekarang ya, kalau jaman dulu bisa sampai 19 hohoho), kalau apple to apple jelas lebih unggul orang tua dong.

Maka, plis plis dan plissss banget. Jangan sampai anda melewatkan privilege yang sudah anda miliki tanpa perlu bersusah payah, privilege untuk mengasuh anak. Terutama di Indonesia, yang kalau orang tuanya masih fakir ilmu pun anaknya nggak ditarik negara. Bayangkan anda di Eropa, yang nggak mengajak anak jalan-jalan selama 1 x 24 jam saja bisa diperkarakan.

Jadilah orang tua yang profesional, not a baby that has a baby. Untuk sekolah juga jadilah support system keluarga yang profesional, bukan mesin penghancur masa depan anak. Jangan berjuang sendiri, berat. Mending bareng-bareng.

Tertanda,

Murid yang sekarang menjadi guru.

From Your 21 Years Old Child

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Dear parents,

I know it must be hard and confusing as it is your first time having a child of 21 years old. As I’ve entered the age of a legal adult in every aspect, I could sign up for my Reksadana, I could also watch any movies that I want in the cinema, and other things that includes me in the group of adults, even I can’t use my insurance card if I’m still included as one with the family.

But then, although my status leap up dramatically in one night, but not with my knowledge. I’m just a mere 20 whole years plus a few days old. I can’t suddenly be the adults you are expecting of. And yes! It’s hard for me here too, as I’m going into the new phase of totally different world (yeah, that’s what happened to me, but terms and conditions applied, okay). As I need to adapt fast with the circumstances as well as finding the true me in the deepest ocean of myself.

So, please. Be patient, as I’m working on it too. I won’t let myself to be destroyed by my own act. It’s enough of myself trying so hard to accept all of my condition while claping at other’s success. I know that it must be hard for you to see me like this, to see your own sweet heart in the worst situation. To see her soul that seems not alive, to see her spirit that’s gone. And yeah, I’m sorry for that, I just couldn’t give you the best of me YET. So please, please, please and please, I do really beg you to be patient, and just watch me struggling with a smile. If you want to help, I’ll gladly accept it, but don’t compare me with anything, specially me in the past. That’s hurt.

Dear parents, to let you know so you won’t be confused, every child have their own cycle of age. Some are at their peak, and some are not (altho they seem in the same biological age). Please do not compare their peak and their downfall, instead, you can try to help them going up. As your help and your smile and your hug and you saying, “I’m proud of you,” means the most for them. Try to understand your child, as they are probably trying their best to make you proud.

Last but not least, this post wasn’t made to blame anybody, just a reflection for both parties to work together toward the success path. For you who are in the same phase as mine, try to change your point of view. Do something different, do something brave! Try something that you never think of (postively kay). Be someone that’s totally ready for walking into the next phase. It will be hard, depressing and pressuring, but then, it’s just the time we have to go through. Bear with it just a few more months. Don’t look away too much from your path, focus on it. Spend your time well to explore yourself. Do something that makes you happy! Be careless for a day! Be crazy (in a positive way)! Close your ears, listen to your heart!

And if you need help, I’ll be here 🙂 Let’s go out from the valley together will ya?

Dear parents, please support us with your most beautiful smile, as we need a home to go back from this war and saying, “I am home.”

あのね…

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あのね…

The worst feeling I have ever felt is when I woke up with a sad feeling and I don’t understand why. Looking up at the sky all gloomy and cloudy.

あのね…

Last night I was devastated by the truth that I have lost. I lost my way, I lost the blink inside my eyes and I lost the faith in myself. Pretty much broken am I?

あのね…

It’s not the state where I can be proud of, but I understand that almost every person will have this state in their own orbit of ages. This state is when we doubt on ourself. We don’t understand the purpose in our life anymore.

あのね…

We won’t moving on to the next phase if we can’t accept our current situation. Never deceive yourself with a lullaby, it’s great for a storytelling but not for your life. Face the problem you have, find a solution for it. If you don’t have a plan, say it! Don’t hide behind the sweet words that calm you down by saying “everything gonna be okay. YOU gonna be fine.” BECAUSE IT IS NOT. You are not fine! And you won’t be until you decide it yourself. You are the one responsible of your condition.

あのね…

It’s hard, even when someone trying to help, but you can’t just get out of the devil circle (and even put aside those who really care of you). I know. I’ve felt it. But let’s get out of this hellish situation together won’t ya? Let’s live our life better, cause we deserve it too.